the past

sometimes we should accept the fact that we lose someone that we really hopes to be together until the last breath. for sure its hard to let someone who ever make you smile going away from your life. sometimes those memories keep asking us to wait. hmm. waiting and waiting. sometimes people change but memories stay and that makes me become so hard to let him go. seriously I miss how he cared about me. how he ask me to take care of myself seriously I miss him damnly. I've never thought that our relationship will be end this way. I still remember that night while he still at the hostel.he surreptitiously call me that night, almost for 4 hours we were on the phone. his voice make me feel save and relieved and sometimes nervous. I don't know why. what should I do when I love him so much till I can't let he go. for sure that night I heard his breath, at that time he was fall asleep. i smile while sleeping. dreaming that he was beside me and hearing his breath. I love him.almost for the whole week I smile because of those sweet memories. okay, for the whole week my friend was really suspicious based on my behaviour until they call me insane, i'm so happy until I can't stop myself from smiling. oh how I miss that moment. but now its over, he have found someone to replace me in his heart. honestly when I see his relationship status I'm crying over all. I can't take the fact that he was belong to someone else right now. I love him. I don't know how to express my feeling. I keep myself silent for the whole week. even though my mind keep asking me to hate him but my heart can't because he's too special. sometimes I become so pathetic crying all over. he belong to some else. spilt personality. I'm easily get hurt and emotional for the whole week. I dream him. I wish that he call me but what I get is disappointment. I try to get rid off those memories. day by day I try to accept the fact that  now he is belong to someone else, I pray for his happiness. even though I have to hold all the pains, I am pleased to do it. I have to move on. start to let he go. I know he doesn't cared about me at all. now it just me, forever alone but I know that Allah is always beside me. help me to cope  with those life challenges. i am gathering all my strength to move on and to let he go. I hope I could do it. yesterday I love you and now I miss you. (24.11.2011)